Parenting - The Lord's Way

Becoming a parent is a solemn responsibility, which doesn't seem to come with any manual or clear cut guidelines on how to raise our children. Or so we think. There seems to be hundreds of parenting books and seminars on how to raise a child.

Your Mom and I feel we raised some amazing children, aside from our parental mistakes we made along the way. From time to time we have had other parents come to us and say "I have observed your family from a distance, and I am amazed with the wonderful family you have. What did you do to raise your children to have them turn out the way they did?"

I've had a couple of the Emmons kids mention to me, on several occasions, that they wished they had our family, because we always seem to have so much fun together.

Our response has often been, "We really aren't sure. We feel the Lord sent us some amazing spirits."

But, as I have pondered what formula we may have followed, I come back to two scriptures that I feel we have tried to use throughout our parenting experience. Before I review these with you, please realize that we were not perfect parents, and did make mistakes along the way. Just ask Sarah about the time she stood in front of the mirror to look at the red, welted hand print on her backside. Not one of my cherished moments as a Dad.

The first scripture is D&C 121:41-44:

41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—

43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

44 That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.

There are some important parenting characteristics in these verses: 

• Persuasion (Not force)
• Long-suffering (Not impatience)
• Gentleness (Not hardness or roughness)
• Meekness (Not over-bearing or prideful)
• Love (Not hate)
• Kindness (Not unkindness)
• With pure knowledge (Not ignorance)
• Without hypocrisy (Not "do as I say, not as I do")
• Without guile (Living the example, living the commandments)
• Reproving only by the spirit (Not in anger) 

The next verse, verse 45, leads me to my second scripture:

45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity...

As a parent we need to have charity, the pure love of Christ, as we lead and teach our children.

Moroni 7:45

45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

A lot of these characteristics are similar to those found in the 121st section of the D&C.

Suffereth long - Patient 

Envieth not - Not possessive or resentful

Not puffed up - Not prideful, but meek and lowly in heart

Seeketh not her own - Serving others before self.

Not easily provoked - Not quick-tempered

Thinketh no evil - Lives the commandments and always has pure and clean thoughts.

Rejoiceth not in iniquity - Abhors sin, loves righteous living

Rejoiceth in the truth - Honest and forthright

Beareth all things - Will to carry your load, as well as others

Believeth all things - Does not doubt but has total belief in the Lord

Hopeth all things - Has the firm faith to move forward

Endureth all things - Stays the course and finishes the race

This may seem like an extensive list. And a lot of things to remember, many of which are really hard to do sometimes. I think if we just ask ourselves this question when confronted with parental challenges with our children, "what would Jesus do or say?" and then follow what you think he would do. I think if you do that, your children will love you and ultimately follow you anywhere.

Build trust with them, by listening and trying to understand them. As you serve them, they will serve you. Spend one-on-one time with them. Going out for ice cream is always a favorite.

As parents we are not just raising our children, but generations that come after them. It is interesting to note, that parents who abuse their children, their children will usually abuse their children, and so on for generations. The opposite is also true. As you love your children and respect them, they will in turn love and respect their children for generations to follow.

As I observe how you are raising my grandchildren, I am so proud of the wonderful parents you are. You are certainly a level higher than I was. For that I admire, love and respect you. You've made me a proud father and grandpa.

Love, Dad